


God Is Dead

by BansheeQueen (BootlegFireworks)



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Priests, Anal Sex, Blasphemy, Bottom Rhys (Borderlands), Consensual Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Improper Use of Catholic Rituals, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Semi-Public Sex, Shameless Smut, Short One Shot, Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, This Is STUPID, Top Handsome Jack (Borderlands), no beta reader we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24861955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BootlegFireworks/pseuds/BansheeQueen
Summary: "The blood runs free, the rain turns red, give me the wine, you keep the bread."(Black Sabbath - God Is Dead)You know what they say: do what the priest says, not what he does.
Relationships: Handsome Jack & Rhys (Borderlands), Handsome Jack/Rhys (Borderlands)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	God Is Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Does this crap even count as Father's day ? No ? Oh well, fuck it.
> 
> By the way, this was inspired after listening to "God is dead" by Black Sabbath, "Love you to death" & "Christian Woman" by Type O Negative.
> 
> "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, RAE"  
> /insert Skeletor "Joke's on you I'm into that" meme here

The High Priest’s methods of education were extremely unconventional. Maybe outright scandalous.

To his delight, and the other priest’s, the cathedral was closed during this time, so the two could practice their nonconforming education, without being interrupted by any unwanted visitors.

Their nonconforming means of education involves the High Priest forcing his “mentee” into reading the bible, while piledriving him.

“Alright, Rhys”, the high priest groans as he slides his cock inside, rolling his eyes in the back of the head as he bottoms. “Jeremiah 29:11. Make it _snappy_.”, he whispers in his squirming partner’s ear, not giving enough time for his partner to get accustomed to the sensation.

Between erratic gasps and cries, his partner quickly shuffles around the bible for the specific verse. “F-for I know the plans I h- _aah_ -have for you, declares the Lord”, Rhys releases a high-pitched moan before continuing, “plans for welfare and n-not for evil, t-to give you a future and a hope”. He looks back at the High Priest, clutching the rosary in his hand and gripping the table with his cybernetic arm, eyes already full of tears. “F-father !”, Rhys whines as he is met with a sharp thrust.

“Don’t call me Father, call me Jack.”, the High Priest sneers, picking up a slow pace, gripping Rhys’s hips. “Go on, pumpkin. Matthew 5.3.”

This is going to be a tough one, Rhys thinks. “B-blessed are the -oh- the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of- _OH LORD, **JAAAAAACK** -_!”, he screams, a hand gripping his mouth and tossing his head back, against Jack’s shoulder.

“Again, Rhys.”, Jack points out with a thrust as his pace increases in speed, lifting Rhys’s right leg on the communion table. “No interruptions this time.”

As soon as the grip on his mouth and jawline releases, Rhys repeats, in a much more quickened and slurred language, tears of shame rolling down his face. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”, ending up with a “ _forgive me God, for I am sinning._ ”, clutching the rosary close to his chest.

Is he ashamed for what he is doing ? Or because he likes it ? Rhys cannot answer that to himself.

The High Priest grabs his chalice full of wine and forces Rhys to drink all of it. “Amen, cupcake.”

Rhys diligently drinks the wine, but he spills everything when Jack hit a certain sweet spot, dropping the chalice on the ground with a loud cry. Next thing he knew, Jack pulled out of Rhys and turned him over on the table, facing him, head hanging over the table and his leg over Jack’s shoulder.

“ _Tsk tsk tsk_ , look at this mess you did”, the High Priest points out as he shoves his dick back inside Rhys, bending over to lap at the spilled wine over his mentee’s neck.

Clutching the rosary even harder, Rhys gives in, getting more vocal with every thrust. “Oh God, oh my _God, Jack_ , Jack I- _ahhh_ -”, pitiful whines shamelessly escaping his lungs.

Jack stands up straight, grabbing his partner’s hips and directing his movements towards a certain spot, making Rhys wail unholy. The sounds made the High Priest groan and toss his head back, closing his eyes and thrust harder.

“Oh, _OH GOD_ yes, _yes_ , right there, _right- AH RIGHT THERE_ \- ”

“ _Mmmmmmmh_ , you’re doing _good_ , Rhysie”, mismatched eyes bore a predatory gaze in the man underneath, glasses sitting askew, “I think I might keep you just for myself after sermons. Teach you my ways”, Jack grabs Rhys’s hand that’s still clutching the rosary, “and wreck you from time to time like _this_.”

Rhys is reduced to a sobbing mess as soon as Jack’s other hand grabs his neglected cock and starts pumping, forcing him to come closer to the edge. A cry escapes his lungs as a warning, followed by a “ _Jaaaaack, I’m gonna_ -”

“Matthew 23:3. Ah, now, Rhys, or else _mmmh_ \- I will stop.”

Rhys knows the verse by heart, he says it every time him and Jack are doing this.

“Therefore do whatever they tell you, and observe it, but don't do what they do, because THEY DON’T PRACTICE WHAT THEY _TEACHHHHH, OH MY GOODNESS **JACK, I’M COMING** !_”, his screams echo-ing in the cathedral, chanting Jack’s name, as Rhys came all over himself.

A faint “good boy”, and he feels himself being filled to the brim as Jack topples over, roughly at the same time. After riding out their orgasms, the High Priest wipes off the tears off his apprentice’s face and plants a soft kiss on his lips, constantly reassuring him that he is a good boy, and he’s going to be a good priest, and manhandling Rhys to the nearest chair where they can sit and cuddle for a while.

After a couple of minutes, Rhys’s shaky voice breaks out, disturbing the silence that instilled in the cathedral. “Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.”, he states, while his left hand makes the sign of a cross.

Jack laughs, replicating the same hand motion as Rhys and nuzzling in his hair. “Amen, baby boy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't bring myself to actually make this into a proper "Porn with Plot" fic or make it longer, because a certain thing *coughs ADHD coughs* doesn't really let me write proper fics lmao.
> 
> Go follow me on Twitter @ Necrolords because I also make art, especially Rhack smut.


End file.
